fucking
i am not one for fucking
to be in love, or be so overwhelmed by someone, so bell-rung
that is when i start to notice my own skin
and
maybe someone else’s
but yes, biologically speaking sure, people flirt or talk or have even found a way to be well adjusted enough to just be sexual being and also get on with their lives, without the complications of “dating” or “relationships”
i dunno, i think it’s destructive.
and
as somebody who is well aware there is “THAT VERSION” of who I am
and
as someone who knows exactly who I am everyday
and
as someone well aware of the difference and the projections of people “THAT VERSION” dated or “THAT VERSION” you know, “did this….” or ”did that”……
i just have to laugh.
the truth is i am not “THAT VERSION”
just ryan, just a guy who loves to play music and make stuff and get people excited about art, any kind, even if it is by example; by me doing so much or as much as i can
and
fucking is so boring so fast after
i think i like the deep
i’d say that is where all the real action happens
fucking, talking, learning-
it isn’t a lock-down being a person who wants a relationship that works
and i am not perfect not by any means flawed surely
but
for no reason than just because i’d have to say, regardless of how the world works now in the ways of romantic behavior
i’d say i always wish for the black and white movie version- long shadows of life
and
that’s where i turn on.
i’d rather channel annoying sexual energy into art anyday.
i am still waiting for a story of my own.
that’s all.
that’s all i have to say about that now,
Its where the real fulfilment is definitely, I mean its what you fall for, and that stuff is just an added bonus and a way to enhance it. Its so much better when there is thought and feeling behind it.
